Ninja Assassin

It's like 300 but with Ninjas!

Rather than go on with a full review I'm going to share with you what I have learned from this movie...

1.) Don't fuck around with a Ninja!

2). Ninja can hurl shurikens faster then bullets and at an extreme rate of fire

3). If there's a Ninja about turn on all the friggin lights and he will be unable to sneak up on you.

4). It sucks to be a Ninjas girlfriend.

5). Some people are born with their hearts on the opposite side of their body and thus cannot be killed by Ninjas.

6). The best Ninja have been taught first aid by Wolverine.

7). When a Ninja is cut, the effect will be similar to slicing open a ketchup filled balloon.

8). Ninja's are great at crossing the road.

9). Ninja's love sharp shiny objects

10). If you learn the truth of Ninjas, you will die in 7 days (more or less)

Every now and then a movie comes along that will unexpectedly grab you by the heart strings and pull you in, with a plot that is both original and gutwrenching and performances that rise far above expectation...

This is not that movie.

Ninja Assassin has very little plot, all of which has been seen before. The acting is pretty weak save for Sho Kosugi as the head of the evil ninja orphanage (now theres a movie waiting to be made) and pop star prodigy Rain does well as the movies lead, especially seeing as he had no previous martial arts training.

The plot however is irrelevant, what the movie does well is throw bucket loads of highly stylized bloodshed in your face faster than you can wipe it off! The CG assisted fight scenes are spectacularly brutal and the movie uses shadows to great affect as the Ninja literally melt in and out of the darkness.